


tumbling inside your hands

by bijyu



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 23:25:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9629693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bijyu/pseuds/bijyu
Summary: Mark can’t find the right words to express his feelings.





	

The pen may seem light as he plays with it mindlessly, but every time he puts it to paper it turns heavy. He ends up holding it in the same position for a moment before sighing in frustration and starting to twirl it between his fingers again. The words just don't come out. He has a vague idea of what he wants to write but every time he makes an attempt, he ends up with nothing.

It's not like he doesn't usually struggle, but most of the time he is able to write— something. He might scratch it out with distaste the next second, but at least he's able to put some words on that paper, make attempts until they sound right. This time, there are no words. There are just— images, he supposes. He can imagine a word that would look as pretty as Ten's eyes when he smiles, but when he tries to write it down, he draws a blank.

He groans and runs his hand through his hair, pushing the notebook off his lap. This is pointless. He doesn't get it— he has less of a problem writing about painful break ups, even though he never went through one, or dating, even though he has little experience with it. But he absolutely can't write down anything about his feelings for Ten. And his hangover is not helping.

"Trouble with your love poem, Romeo?" Jaehyun asks, looking up from where he's sitting on his bed, browsing SNS on his phone. He's been mostly quiet, only occasionally informing Mark about what their friends uploaded on instagram— mostly unflattering pics from yesterday's party. Mark doesn't want to see them at all. They were celebrating Jaehyun's birthday and they all got much too drunk, which is how Jaehyun now knows about his crush on Ten. And it's also why they're both suffering from a severe hangover. Even so, Jaehyun seems bright and happy. Might be connected to how he and Yuta disappeared somewhere at some point during the night. Mark really, really doesn't want to know the details.

"I don't think I can do it, man," Mark groans. "I can't get a single word down. Maybe it's the hangover..."

"Maybe you're just scared to write about your feelings because you know Ten is going to read it," Jaehyun points out with a teasing smile. "You're shy, Mark."

"As if I don't know that," Mark huffs, lying down on the bed, folding his arms behind his head, and staring at the ceiling in resignation. "It was a stupid idea." It was Jaehyun who suggested it— as a _valentine boy_ , he proclaimed himself the romance specialist, and advised Mark to give Ten a poem for valentine’s day.

"Hey, don't give up," Jaehyun says, tone changing from teasing to encouraging. "Maybe just pretend you're not going to give it to him? Or, dunno, don't give it to him, but at least try writing it down? You can always change your mind later."

Mark's only reply is a doubtful hum. Is there a word that can describe the sparkle in Ten's pretty eyes? Every metaphor that comes to his mind doesn't seem like enough. Maybe he should give up on writing about Ten’s eyes or his smile and just write— whatever that will convey the suffocating feelings in his chest. It's not at all what he'd describe as a fluttering feeling. Instead of butterflies he feels like he has coal in his stomach.

He's hopelessly, stupidly in love.

And shouldn’t be getting his hopes up. Donghyuck tells him he's really popular in school but— well, that's exactly one of the problems. He's still a high schooler, and Ten is an university student, and he's gorgeous, he dances like a god and everyone loves him, and Mark wouldn't be that surprised if Ten dated a different person every week. Mark is sure he and Ten only became close because they're both primarily English speakers. Ten is into boys and he doesn't make much of an effort to hide it around his friends, but could he like Mark? Would he at least consider dating him if presented with the opportunity? Mark can't help but doubt that.

"Trust me," Jaehyun told him knowingly when Mark, after drinking a few shots too many, accidentally spilled that he had a crush on Ten. "You should try asking him out. Go for something romantic. Like a love poem. Ten loves that kind of stuff."

Mark sighs and picks up the notebook once again. He's got to try at least.

 

*

 

Hours later, he's awoken by the doorbell ringing. He sits up on the bed, surprised and confused. He doesn't even recall falling asleep, but he supposes the hangover and the writer's block must have defeated him. The room is dark and empty and the doorbell keeps ringing, which probably means Jaehyun went out somewhere. For a valentine's day date with Yuta, most likely. Mark rubs his face groggily and slowly raises himself to his feet. He takes clumsy steps towards the door. He wonders who it could be— only a few of their friends know the door code to the apartment block.

He opens the door and promptly stills in surprise. Ten smiles at him brightly.

"Hi!" He raises his eyebrows, looking Mark up and down. "Rough day, huh?"

"Oh. Hello." Mark swallows nervously and attempts to smooth his hair down. He's wearing a worn t-shirt and sweatpants and he probably doesn't look his best. Thank God he at least forced himself to shower this morning, despite feeling like shit. Ten, on the other hand, looks dazzling. Mark decides life isn't fair. "The party was... pretty wild."

"I know, right?" Ten chuckles. "I felt like crap this morning. I only went out because I wanted to bring you this, so you better appreciate." With that, he pushes a box into Mark's hands. It's a plain white box wrapped in a red ribbon. "Don't look at it like it's going to bite you, it's just chocolate cookies," Ten tells him brightly and Mark blinks, surprised. He feels his ears turn warm. Could it be...? "Come on, open it."

Mark lifts the lid and peeks into the box. Inside, there are... tiny brown lumps of something. They look burnt. "Oh.” Mark's lips quirk as he tries to stop himself from laughing. "They're, uh. Very. Unique."

"Okay, I know they look like rabbit poop, but Doyoung had nothing to do with them, honest. I made them myself." Ten sounds actually proud of himself and Mark finds himself thinking it's really adorable— even if the cookies look inedible.

"Thank you," he says slowly— he's still unsure what the gift means, and how he should respond. Are those friendship cookies? Love confession cookies? Don't hope for too much, he chides himself mentally, but still, he can't stop his heart from hammering in his chest. The fact that Ten somehow looks especially pretty today isn't making things easier for him.

Ten must misunderstand his hesitation, because he pouts.  "I know they look ugly but I promise they taste good!" he says defensively. "Share them with Jaehyun, yeah? "

Oh. So it's not a love confession gift. Mark nods, and hopes the disappointment doesn't show on his face.

"Ah... yeah, thank you. I will." Mark rubs the back of his neck. "Sorry I don't have anything for you."

"That's okay, I wasn't really expecting anything." Ten pauses, looking at him as if waiting for something, but before Mark can come up with anything to say, Ten speaks again. "Okay then, see you later?"

"Yeah, sure," Mark nods. Ten beams at him and turns to leave, and Mark closes the door. Well, that was awkward, he thinks. He's usually comfortable with Ten, despite his crush on him, but now... is it because of that love poem he's been trying to write? Or because Ten looked even cuter than usual today?

He walks into the kitchen and places the box on the table— only then he notices a small card attached to the box. Curious, he opens it.

 

_to the most adorable amazing mark lee!!_

_i wanna have your babies_

_happy valentine's day_

_i love you_ ❤

 

For a moment, Mark just stares at the message. The babies part seems like what Ten could write to anyone— he's always such a flirt— and the _i love you_ at the end doesn't have to mean anything but... he frowns, thinking. Ten said he only went out to bring him the cookies. Ten looked especially pretty today— Mark isn't observant when it comes to that kind of stuff, he just noticed the general impression Ten left on him today, and he definitely looked nice. He said he had a hangover, but he still went out of his way to bake cookies and bring them to him. And Mark didn't even invite him inside.

 _Mark Lee, you're a total fool_ , his mind tells him in what suspiciously resembles Donghyuck's voice. He turns on his heel and heads to the door.

Luckily, he catches Ten before he gets on the elevator. Ten looks half surprised half amused when Mark runs up to him and breathlessly asks him if he wants to come in for a while.

"Sure!" he replies with the brightest smile, so dazzling that it makes Mark feel a bit faint. He's positive he can never come up with words pretty enough to describe that smile.

 

*

 

About half an hour later they're sitting on the sofa munching on the cookies and watching some romance flick on TV. The cookies really do taste good, despite their unfortunate visuals. Mark wonders if it took Ten a lot of time to bake something edible— he knows Ten's cooking skills aren't much better than his. If they ever really end up being a couple who lives together and all, one of them needs to learn to cook or they're going to starve. Not that Mark would mind learning, if it's for Ten.

He also should stop daydreaming like that, though. He's still not sure if Ten actually likes him, but... it seems more plausible than before. He needs to ask, he needs to make things clear.

"The cookies, they're really good," he says, glancing at Ten. Ten smiles but he doesn't look away from the TV screen.

"You sound surprised. I tried my best, of course they're good."

"I, uh..." Mark swallows nervously. "Actually, I was going to give you something too..."

That catches Ten's attention. He turns to Mark, eyebrows raised. "Then where's my gift?" he asks, tone playful.

"It was... promise you're not gonna laugh, okay?"

Ten grins. "Can't promise, but I'll try my best."

 "I wanted to write a poem." He pauses, gauging Ten's reaction, but Ten just tilts his head, looking intrigued. Mark is once again intimidated by how pretty he is. He looks away. "I... really wanted to write something good but I just couldn't find the words. To describe your smile. And your eyes. And then I sort of fell asleep, so..."

Ten laughs, and Mark feels his face burn. It doesn't sound like a mocking laugh, though— if anything, he wants to think it sounds... fond. "You couldn't find words to describe my smile?" Ten repeats with amusement. "That's like the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. You're too smooth, Mark Lee."

That only makes Mark feel even more flustered. He wasn't trying to be smooth, he was just explaining the situation. And well, confessing, in a very roundabout way.

"It's just... " He looks up— Ten has this twinkle in his eyes that always appears when he's teasing someone. Mark sighs. "Don't make fun of me, man," he mumbles, hopelessly embarrassed. Ten just chuckles again and leans in a little, close enough for Mark to smell his cologne— Mark barely stops himself from sniffing him. He likes the scent too much.

"I know what you can give me instead," he whispers. Mark looks at the way the corners of Ten's lips curl and he thinks he knows what it is even before Ten continues. "A kiss."

For a moment it feels like the time has stopped and he can't move an inch and he's just staring at Ten, his heart racing in his chest, pulse thrumming in his ears— but then he's leaning in, as if pulled in by some magnetic force, and then he feels the softness of Ten's lips against his, and he closes his eyes.

It's chaste and careful at first, Mark is still dazed and even Ten seems surprisingly shy and unsure— but  then Mark instinctively moves a little closer, placing his hand on Ten's hip, and as if prompted by that action, Ten cups Mark's face and kisses him harder, lips urgent, almost demanding. They completely lose themselves in the kiss and a moment later Ten is almost sitting in his lap, kissing him deeply, and Mark barely remembers to breathe through his nose— his skin feels like it's burning wherever Ten touches him and he can't think, overwhelmed by the sensations. Either Ten is a really good kisser or Mark is really in love— or maybe it's both.

Eventually Ten pulls back, with a soft nibble to Mark's lower lip. He's flushed, smiling brightly, his lips kiss-swollen, and if Mark didn't already feel lightheaded, seeing Ten like this, and knowing it was because of him, would no doubt take his breath away.

"Well, this is much better than any cookies I could ever bake," Ten comments. Mark laughs breathlessly at that.

"Same," he agrees and leans in for another kiss.

It's probably also much better than any love poem he could ever write, although now that he doesn't need to confess anymore, he might attempt writing one again. He decides that he needs some more inspiration, though— and kissing Ten a few times more is bound to inspire him.

 

 

 

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**Author's Note:**

> an early valentine's day fic! i wasn't planning to write one but then i saw all the cute markten and this just wrote itself. this ship needs more love so!! i hope you liked it.


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